I'm Single, I still remember the day we break, the reaction he reacted, the feeling inside my heart. Well, its raining now. He told me he still love me but actually he loved me. He already losted feelings for me, and he didn't told me. He promise me that he would tell me, but perhaps he was keeping empty promises again and again.
How many times is he going to do this over and over again? If he see this, he might be asking himself "I didn't lied to her before." or "I didn't know she have been keeping this in her heart" Ivan, knowing this now is late, really late. It seem that you don't know me well. Its okay, i think its not really a need now. Since we aren't together anymore. Right?
Today, is our 2month anni (if we are still together), remember Ivan? No. I don't think you will be remembering it too. You always forget things i told you, important things. You never remember!
You always said that you would be texting me back later because something came up, but you didn't mean your words. You never, you would only text me back the next day. Is later that long!? I don't think so, you should tell me tmr text me back or something. If you don't, you know i would be there waiting foolishly, you don't know right? I would sit infront of my phone, see the time, asking myself "When is later?" "Is he going to reply?" Until, when I'm going to bed then i will realised that you didn't mean it. And i would be sad, utterly sad. Real sad. I would even think of cutting.
I hate texting you first, really. Can't you be more automatic? You cannot isit? That hard? I wonder how you pass your day? I wonder how many times you think about times we spend together. But now, maybe i don't need to think this things anymore...
Hope you would treat your next girlfriend more serious, and better then me. Its good bye now (even if i can't bear to leave you) Bye friend...
Till Next Time.
About Me
- CLARISSA CHING $$
- I'm Clarissa! I love those people who are with me through those ups and downs.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
It just doesn't seem right. x.x
Everything is going wrong... Really really long, feelings for him start to lost. But it's still there just not as much as before. Anytime now he might just break with me or I break with him. It's been final that he is going to Outram and I'm going to Yuying. Not same school eh, surprised?
Currently no one knows about my blog, I think. Just hope people that knows about this doesn't spread everything. Been texting with Kango lately(:
I duuno why but when I text with him I feel different when I text with him. When I text with Kango, I feel like I have no worries all gone. But with Ivan I must get ready for anything bad coming because our relationship hasn't been steady these few days. I'm really lost really really lost. Soon, just soon we will break because there is no such thing as "Happily Ever After" fairytail and reality can't be mix. That's what i have learnt.
It's quite later I should be going to sleep already. I have to go to Yuying tmr. Goodnight(:
Till next time (:
Currently no one knows about my blog, I think. Just hope people that knows about this doesn't spread everything. Been texting with Kango lately(:
I duuno why but when I text with him I feel different when I text with him. When I text with Kango, I feel like I have no worries all gone. But with Ivan I must get ready for anything bad coming because our relationship hasn't been steady these few days. I'm really lost really really lost. Soon, just soon we will break because there is no such thing as "Happily Ever After" fairytail and reality can't be mix. That's what i have learnt.
It's quite later I should be going to sleep already. I have to go to Yuying tmr. Goodnight(:
Till next time (:
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Bigger Distance, Deeper Hurts.
Its been supa supa long since i have seen him. Its like we always have chances to meet up, but its either he cannot or i cannot. Is fate trying to tell me something? On my birthday, he didn't do anything special... (Everytime when i think about this its reminds me of Alex.) Last time, when I'm going overseas on my birthday Alex would still celebrate my birthday. But it was last time! But it seem like he didn't... He should know right?! He should celebrate it earlier or later mah. For Dionne's birthday, we all get to celebrate hers. Even Marcus was there to celebrate too, why can Marcus do it but not him? Isit because Marcus love Dionne more then Ivan love me!?
I want to know why? He was always there to say "We would last long even if we are going to different Sec School" And i would always agree at that time but now very hard for me to believe it anymore. Any day, just any day, we might break up. Is either me or him. It would happen. Or those shitty last long words doesn't even came true at all. So whats the point if you are getting people wishes like "Last long" their just words, its would never come true. All those mushy words that couples give to each other, are just there but for awhile only. Those words can't hold couples together. It can't.
I still miss him, i still do. But i can't always be the first one who always text him first. Always me start first then the one who would be going first is him. Whats this shit thing?! I don't want this kind of stupid relationship! He don't have to be perfect for me, really, but he have to also know that his girlfriend can't do everything.
Because of this few words that i want to say to him, i have lost mood in everything even texting him. Really don't want to do anything now. Everything i do now seem hopeless. It can't be helped, everytime i would regret being in a relationship. I even regret the one I'm in now. People always says "If your in a relationship and it affects your studies your stupid" Yeah. I'm stupid, but i don't blame him, okay maybe i do abit, but its also my fault sometimes.
Girls usually fall for those guys that are good looking, smarter, richer. Those girls are bitches. I don't want be like them and i would not.
Miss the experience of cutting... Its been long since i last cut too. Everytime when i thinks about the stuff that he disappoints me i would feel like doing it. I can, but i just don't have the time. Someday i would. And the day would be near.
I want to know why? He was always there to say "We would last long even if we are going to different Sec School" And i would always agree at that time but now very hard for me to believe it anymore. Any day, just any day, we might break up. Is either me or him. It would happen. Or those shitty last long words doesn't even came true at all. So whats the point if you are getting people wishes like "Last long" their just words, its would never come true. All those mushy words that couples give to each other, are just there but for awhile only. Those words can't hold couples together. It can't.
I still miss him, i still do. But i can't always be the first one who always text him first. Always me start first then the one who would be going first is him. Whats this shit thing?! I don't want this kind of stupid relationship! He don't have to be perfect for me, really, but he have to also know that his girlfriend can't do everything.
Because of this few words that i want to say to him, i have lost mood in everything even texting him. Really don't want to do anything now. Everything i do now seem hopeless. It can't be helped, everytime i would regret being in a relationship. I even regret the one I'm in now. People always says "If your in a relationship and it affects your studies your stupid" Yeah. I'm stupid, but i don't blame him, okay maybe i do abit, but its also my fault sometimes.
Girls usually fall for those guys that are good looking, smarter, richer. Those girls are bitches. I don't want be like them and i would not.
Miss the experience of cutting... Its been long since i last cut too. Everytime when i thinks about the stuff that he disappoints me i would feel like doing it. I can, but i just don't have the time. Someday i would. And the day would be near.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Taiwan (:
Okay. Came back from Taiwan at like 11 Dec, now then blog... Sorry? Anyways, im lazy to blog about it okay, so ya, just think that i didn't went there or something. (: Anyway i think im going to change my blog link, i want to post something, and not let him know because he know my blog link now so im going to change. Keep stalking (:
Thursday, December 1, 2011
ClassOuting to EastCoast(:
Awesome yesterday! Hope most of the day can be like that. Hahaha! I was late, as in, super late. They waited for me at Kallang Mrt even if i told them not to wait. Thanks guys!! <3 We rented bicycle, thats how i learn, hehehe. Don't judge me hor, 2 wheels one leh. Cycle Cycle Cycle then we stopped at the beach and play sand and water. Salty waterr!! XD I was wet all over, Hahahaha! Now let the pictures do some talking, Enjoy! <3
Girls who went there, yeah, only so little. But its okay(:
Me and Jiaying. Hahaha!
Besties! <3
Thats all(: See you next time. When i come back from taiwan then i will tell you more about that. Keep stalking. Till Next Time.
Girls who went there, yeah, only so little. But its okay(:
Me and Jiaying. Hahaha!
Besties! <3
Thats all(: See you next time. When i come back from taiwan then i will tell you more about that. Keep stalking. Till Next Time.
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